


and miles to go before I sleep

by orphan_account



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Injury, Pre-Stream (Critical Role), Temporary Character Death, crladiesweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:39:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10739064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It is time for Pike to make the most important decision of her life.Written for Critical Role Ladies Week - Day One: Pike Trickfoot





	and miles to go before I sleep

When Pike opens her eyes, she does not know where she is. The space she is standing in is overwhelmingly white. Far away, she can faintly make out the sound of rushing water and chirping sparrows. The air is warm and a light breeze makes the dark hair curled around her ears flutter around her face.

The light is making her head ache. She closes her eyes again.

Despite the seemingly peaceful nature of her surroundings, Pike can’t shake the feeling of unease squirming in her stomach. She has no memory of how she came to this place. Where is everyone else?

“Hello?” Her voice is oddly strained, like she has been shouting for far too long or far too loudly, and now her throat has been scraped raw through overuse.

_Oh, my child…_

A voice echoes inside her head with a timbre like clanging bells. Pike wrenches her eyes open and squints into the blinding light. Her hand instinctively flies to the holy symbol hanging around her neck. An enormous figure shimmers into being in front of her, and she immediately falls to one knee in supplication.

The being is easily fifty feet tall, completely dwarfing Pike’s small form. Ivory hair framed by a shining halo streams out from a face composed of pure light. Long white robes trimmed in glittering silver cascade to the ground. Most impressive of all are the six enormous golden wings unfurled from the figure’s back.

“My Lady,” Pike whispers hoarsely.

Sarenrae’s shifting features seem to smile, giving Pike the courage to speak again.

“Where am I?”

 _You are at a crossroads._

The sonorous voice seems to reverberate inside her skull. It is painful to keep staring into Sarenrae’s blinding face, but Pike refuses to look away. “A… a crossroads? Please, my Lady, I don’t understand.”

_Do you recall how you came to this place?_

“...I’m sorry. I can’t seem to remember.” A twinge of inexplicable guilt runs through her.

The towering goddess stretches her right hand towards the ground. _Then I will help you._ She brushes her fingertips on top of Pike’s head.

It is as though a haze is lifted from Pike’s confused mind, and with a sudden blaze of clarity, she remembers a desperate fight against a demon prince… her friends shouting her name… then… 

A strangled shriek rips from her throat as pain, or perhaps the memory of pain, lances through her. Her face is slashed open, carving a deep line of fire from her forehead to her chin. Her ribcage crunches and her lungs collapse as a claw jams through her chest and she is _eviscerated._ Every inch of her must be drenched in the crimson blood and viscera that seem to gush from her uncontrollably.

Pike clatters to the ground in a shaking ball, her hand clutching her Lady’s holy symbol. Whereas before it had been pulsing warmly in Sarenrae’s presence, now it burns like a brand around her neck.

She can _feel_ the metal of her armor stabbing inside her where the pincer burst through her center. Her mind reels wildy to every beetle she’s ever smashed underfoot, their tiny forms curling and writhing as their hard shells crush the soft bodies they were designed to protect… 

_Peace, small one._

A shift in the ground beneath her quivering body, and Pike is distantly aware of being lifted high, high into the air by gentle hands. She gasps weakly.

_This memory is in the past._

Warm breath rushes over her. Her pain reaches a crescendo, then diminishes from all encompassing to floating in fragments at the periphery of her consciousness. The holy symbol cools underneath her locked fingers, and Pike can think straight again. She uncurls herself stiffly, clenching her jaw against the groat that bubbles up her throat. Blinking to clear her eyes, she realizes she is kneeling in Sarenrae’s hands, only a few feet away from the goddess’s face. 

“I died.”

_Yes._

“And… now I’m here. With you.”

_Correct._

Pike straightens her spine, which is no longer shattered into a thousand bony shards, and laces her fingers together. “And my friends? Did they… “

 _I will show you._ Sarenrae’s shining face shifts, and in her right eye Pike can see the reflection of Vox Machina hobbling away from Jurazel’s ruined corpse, all of them beaten and bruised but alive.

Well. Nearly all of them. Pike watches with wide eyes as Grog cradles her own mutilated body close to his heart, his massive shoulders heaving as big salty tears drip down his cheeks. All of her friends looked dazed, as though they can’t quite process exactly what is happening. Scanlan reaches up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His hand comes away red from all the blood on her face.

Her breath catches in her chest when the vision blinks away. She almost demands that her Lady bring her friends back, but she bites her tongue. Sarenrae’s gaze lingers on her, waiting expectantly for her to speak.

Pike clears her throat. “You said I was at a crossroads before. What did you mean by that?”

_Two paths lie before you, my loyal cleric. _Now Sarenrae’s left eye begins to change, and Pike can see in it a beautiful meadow with a wide river cutting through it. The distant sound of rushing water she heard earlier seems louder now. Birds chirp and dart after one another in the sky, and now Pike can see two gnomish figures talking and laughing at the river bank. She instantly recognizes them as her dead parents and bites down on hard on her lip to keep in an undignified whimper of longing.__

__The meadow fades just as quickly as the vision of her friends did._ _

__Sarenrae adjusts her hands to bring Pike even closer to her face. _I can see in your heart that now you understand._ _ _

__A shiver runs down Pike’s spine as Sarenrae gazes down at her. Yes, she understands her choice very well. If she squints, she can make out the faint outlines of her friends gathered around a table in Sarenrae’s right eye. A cleric is praying over her corpse. Scanlan is holding her hand and pressing a kiss to her brow. In Sarenrae’s left eye, she can see her father drape an arm over her mother’s shoulder as she leans against him contentedly._ _

__Family, or friends. Move forward, or go back._ _

__Scanlan is crying freely now, tears streaking through the dirt and blood caked onto his face._ _

__Her mind is made up fairly quickly. She doesn’t have to say it out loud; Sarenrae has already seen it in her heart. The goddess smiles and draws Pike in close._ _

___Know this, cleric: to live is rare, and beautiful. It is also painful. When you return you will not be the same._ Sarenrae’s wings unfold to their full height, and the brilliant light intensifies to an even greater degree. _I send you back to do my work. Lead with mercy, patience, and compassion. Aid those who are without guide. Heal those who are without hope. And to those who revel in slaughter, deal out swift justice.__ _

__Pike grasps her holy symbol with both hands. It is also shining now, or maybe it is her own hands that are gleaming with light and not the necklace? “Of course, my Lady.”_ _

__Sarenrae smiles, and two of her wings curve over her head to gently caress Pike’s cheeks. _Go now, and fear no darkness, Pike Trickfoot.__ _

__The light strengthens to a degree that Pike believes will surely blind her, and then she is falling, down, down, away from Sarenrae’s luminous grasp, but she never hits the ground._ _

__“Pike?”_ _

__A sharp inhale, and a groan at the ache penetrating her bones._ _

__When Pike opens her eyes, she knows exactly where she is. A lock of white hair falls in front of her face, which Scanlan brushes away with trembling fingers. She is back with her family. She is home._ _


End file.
